Noah feelings
by SerenePhenix
Summary: She couldn't else. Even if it wasn't her nature as the Noah of the dreams, she couldn't surpress these feelings, as well as she couldn't surpress the question to whom they truly belonged...
1. Chapter 1 Noah's feelings

_**And here comes another small one-shot! This time about Road. It was bugging me a little since I never could explain myself why she felt so attracted to Allen. I thought that maybe she and the 14**__**th**__** had been lovers and maybe she had felt what was inside of Allen when she met him. Why? Well, I'd guess a women's intuition! ^^ Still, I tried to hold the OOC-ness as low as possible. I hope you like it!**_

_**P.S. : I recommend you to read this one while listening to "Love Story". The song greatly inspired me while writing! **_

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Road stared at the crimson red horizon that slowly faded to a dark purple. She loved that dark color. Maybe because it went well with the Black Ark they had recently but still not completely finished. It made her kind of angry. She puffed her cheeks and exhaled the retained air in a low whistle. This was all the Exorcists fault. Their fault ,that the download of the Ark was unsuccessful, years of preparations for nothing but a destroyed Akuma egg and an imperfect craft. Their fault, that Brolic died, though she was not grieving as much as in the first moments she had felt his life disappear. Their fault, that Tyki had been severely injured along with Jasdero and David and that now Lulubel was crying over her failed mission to retrieve the egg from the Black Order. She frowned deeply her eyes darting the earth beneath her.

The purple slowly turned into a fresh and deep indigo blue, leaving the air a little too chilly and thus she began to sneeze. But she did not care. Her thoughts trailed back to her fight she had had with her enemies and specially to one boy with silvery white hair and storm gray eyes. She brushed over her lips with her fingers and smile graced over them at the memory of his warm mouth against hers. She sighed contently and let her eyelids slip over the golden orbs, which were part of her Noah being. She let herself fall back on the bed under the respective window in her new room. She was curious about what had happened to Allen after the fight. She did not know. As well as she did not know, if she really should just call him Allen or by his real name, Lad. She shuddered slightly. She had instantly known what slept inside that teenager's body and it somehow made her heart ache. The proof had been the moment when Allen had emerged from Tiky's vacuum with a sword and an aura looking like the Millenie's. She knew only one person that had this aura around him and it was no coincidence like one could assure himself. It was him. It had to be him. There was no other possible explanation. And even after all this time (35 years she reminded herself), she was still unsure if her feelings only belonged to the young boy who possessed eyes like him. She stared blankly at the dark ceiling, scraps of memories flowing through her mind. She missed him so much she practically could feel the human as well as the Noah part of her heart being torn apart.

"_But you promised!", she pouted and shot him an angry glare. The young man smiled sheepishly and scratched his left cheek in embarrassment. He knew that making her wait for over an hour was not the best thing to do. "Look, I really am sorry. I didn't do it on purpose but you know just as well as me how demanding brother can be. This will remain the only time.", he answered apologetically taking her hand into his. He gave her one of those smiles she loved so much. "Fine.", she said in a stubborn manner and without warning jabbed her elbow into his ribs making him wince in pain, "But remember, only this once. And the only way you shall call _him_ is « Millennium Earl »." She turned on her heels on the street of the White Ark and swung Relo in her hand, much to the annoyance of the umbrella shaped golem. Lad watched her back in silence but none the less in a loving manner. His gaze fell on the poor fellow, Road was holding in a vice grip so that he could not fly off as he tried hard now. In his eyes she was so perfect, even with her sometimes sadistic thoughts and her childish antics. But still… just a wonderful girl that was caring for her family. For _their _family. "Road-tamaaaaa! Please let go of Relo! Earl-tama sure must be looking for me, relo!", whined the golem tired of being tossed, turned and used as some strange kind of sitting opportunity by the oldest child of the Noahs. Road however seemed not to be interested in the umbrella's dilemma and just kept going on with teasing him. It _was_ fun after all. Suddenly she felt two strong but slim arms wrap around her small form, releasing the umbrella in surprise, who instantly took the opportunity and escaped into a door shutting it with a loud slamming sound. Road stood there silent, although she was more than willing to complain over the loss of her favorite toy. She leaned into the hug feeling Lad's warmth against her back. It felt so nice, so comforting. His hand went up her neck and traced it's contours. It made her shudder with content. She may have had the looks of a young girl but inside she was already close to a grown up woman just as was Lad. She felt his warm breath close to her earlobe as he leaned down and gave her a light kiss on her right cheek. She slowly turned around and looked into his eyes. They were marvelous. There was no equal in this world that was for sure. He began to chuckle lightly startling her. "What's wrong?", she asked taken aback, one eyebrow raised quizzically. He stopped and smirked. "It's nothing.", he replied amusedly, "I'm just savoring the privacy." They both laughed about the truth behind that statement their faces drawing closer to each other. It would be only two years later that "The Musician" would betray them all._

She blinked angrily as tears streamed down her face. God, she must have been looking so pathetic right now! Tiky would have found it quiet amusing. She brushed the salty water away and sat upright. Night had fallen and now the whole room was nothing more than a black hole. She turned her face to the window staring at the full moon. _"Just like his eyes. Just like their eyes…"_, she thought dully. It would only be a matter of time and determination till one of them would completely and definitely take control over the one body they shared at the moment. She still loved Lad and she could curse herself for she still did after all that had happened. But she couldn't deny that Allen was as well someone she cherished. Slowly she made her way over to the door, her rose-dress changing into a white dress resembling a flower and black ribbons tying around her arms. Tonight they would start the last move and hopefully, the long lost and missed member of their family would finally come back home…


	2. Chapter 2 Noah's decision

_**Here is the second part! An idea that just came to my mind after reading the latest chapter. I hope you can enjoy it! ^^**_

_**(Why Hoshino-sensei did a character as cute as Alma have to die? ;A; )**_

"_I'm sorry Millenie. This will be farewell. Thanks for everything.", she said, her sweet smile ever present on her face while she turned her back to her old family._

Allen dragged his wounded and exhausted body as far away from the sealed door of the Ark as humanly possible, leaning onto one of the white buildings for support. It was as if with bringing Johnny and the rest back to HQ and closing the doors behind them, he was ending that part of his life with them. His resolve was strong. He wanted to bring down the Earl all by himself, without the Black Order or the Noah getting in his way. He had to or Alma's and that woman's sacrifice would have been for naught.

He gasped as that unbearable feeling of his soul and body being segregated washed over him like waves in a heavy storm. Falling to his knees he tried to draw in a long breath, to regain his composure but it didn't help in the least, instead it seemed to make everything worse. He flinched as the half-healed tissue over Mugen's previously inflicted stab on him appeared to burn. He held the sword tightly with his own Innocence, too afraid to take a hold of it with any other part of his body yet the scar didn't remain the only problem. What worried Allen most what that numbness and cold he felt spreading from his fingertips and toes to his torso, a terrible heat emanating from the recently added battle mark. Fear was seeping into his heart like poison, flooding his mind and thoughts.

He didn't want to lose to the 14th, to Neah. He couldn't give up now but it hurt so much. He literally _felt_ the chains which had bound him to that chair in the dead forest tug at his soul, slowly ripping him and _his_ body apart. "No…", he croaked pushing himself to stand up again, to no avail. The pain apparently was reaching it's peak. It was as if his Innocence had ripped on the inside for a second time, only this time it seemed to come from both his heart and the two wounds the Innocence had inflicted on him. Allen let out a blood-curdling scream, cringing and jacking helplessly on the floor.

He wanted to call out for help just like in that night, wanted someone to come and find him and make the pain disappear when the bitter truth hit him full force. He was all alone, all alone in the sealed Ark with his pain. That realization was more cruel, more of a torture to him than anything else he could imagine. All by himself, once again. Despair drowned him and took all the energy he had had left. Allen screwed his eyes shut but the tears still kept coming.

He just lay there, on his own, slowly being taken apart and over by the enemy and probably soon being rejected by Crown Clown. Time did not have a meaning since no matter how much of it passed, the hurt didn't fade. His eyes, blurry from tears, pain and fatigue made out a shadow coming closer and closer. He would have made a sign to whatever came this way but he didn't even have the strength to actually look up. He waited patiently until he discerned a pair of legs in front of him. The person crouched down in front of his face.

Allen smiled broadly as darkness took him over. He was not alone.

Road stood on the spot in front of a now closed off Ark gate, thick tears rolling down her cheeks and her chin finally dropping down on the white cobblestone street of the Ark with small dripping sounds. Although she had made this decision long ago, weeks even before Wisely returned to their family, it pained her to her very core to leave behind what she had considered her home for more than thirty years now.

But she couldn't change it anymore. It had happened and no matter how much she might regret it later, she was now willing to do anything in her power to help the two people that had won her admiration and her heart. There was no way she could lie to herself anymore.

Her love belonged both to Allen and Neah. Both were important to her, this war and this world. She knew, should one disappear then everything would be over. Since long had she understood that the Earls goal was not only the annihilation of humankind but of the world itself. His hatred towards it had grown stronger with every decade that came and went like the wind. She probably wouldn't have bothered about it hadn't it been for Neah.

A memory displayed in front of her mind's eye when an earsplitting scream, ragged with pain and desperation broke the silence that lay upon the old Ark like a thick cloth. Road instantly looked around when her eyes caught sight of a dark dot and another one further down the alleyway. She knew without thinking that this bright red color was the one of blood and most probably Allen's. If she wanted to find him, she'd just have to follow this _red thread. _

Finally she found him lying on the floor like dead. But he wasn't… or rather they weren't. As she came closer she could see his flushed, sweat wetted face. His silver eyes were glazed over and although she was now right in front of him he didn't really seem to acknowledge her presence. Perhaps his injuries were worse than what she had thought. And still, once she crouched in front of his face to remove some his strands of hair from it, it suddenly was illuminated by a wide and desperate smile.

And just like that he drifted out of consciousness, still smiling genuinely. Road was a little startled but did not care about it all that much. Instead she kept on stroking his soft white locks, mesmerized about how someone who'd experienced one of humankind's saddest memories, nearly getting swallowed by it, fighting for and against his comrade and friend, receiving a fatal injury from latter, resisting against Neah and then save the Second Exorcists as well as the last survivors of the North American Branch massacre she and her clan were responsible for, could still look like the most beautiful being in the world.

Road knew that this was just the beginning and that Allen as well as Neah would have to face even greater dangers from now on. As she stood there like that, watching the young boy she wasn't sure why but a fresh wave of tears welled up.

Stupid Neah, to make her cry once again…

Everything was soft. Soft and warm and he would gladly have slept longer. But there was something in the back of his head that told him to better get away as soon as possible. But he brushed it off. He was too lazy now. Maybe if he just relaxed again he could fall asleep and feel that pleasant warmth further. As he was about to drift into oblivion again he heard a rustling and then a loud sneeze. With a feeling as if someone had yelled at him he sat upright and stared at the one at fault for waking him up. And froze.

He knew that his mouth must've hung wide open, he knew it was impolite, but he couldn't help it because what he saw was just unbelievable. There was Road holding a wet rag in her hands, face only inches away from his, Timcampy sitting on her shoulder as though she was an old friend. For a moment he didn't know if maybe he was hallucinating because this was just impossible. She too looked surprised but she quickly got over it and her lips quirked up into a small smile.

Since Allen himself had mastered the art of hiding his feelings behind a smiling façade he knew that Road's was not completely sincere. He could see it from her not golden eyes. Or maybe it just gave him the impression since she looked exhausted and strained. It was the first time that he had seen a Noah in a maybe…fragile state. It confused him to no end. Why was she here? Where was here? Not the Earls new Ark by any chance? Why hadn't she killed him yet and why the heck did she look _older_? The sheer amount of questions was dazing him.

"I'm glad you woke up again, Allen.", said Road in a soft tone just like the one she had used when she had declared him that she'd only get involved with him. He merely blinked unable to make his mouth work in his astonishment. The blue haired girl did not mind though and wrung the soaking cloth before putting it on a white nightstand together with an equally bleach bowl filled with water. She had her back partially turned to him seemingly convinced he would do no harm which actually she was right to assume.

He gasped as he took in this sight. It hadn't been his imagination. Road had grown. And not only in height as he realized flushing ever so lightly. She seemed to be around his or Lenalee age now. Even though she still had a rather petite form it was more than just obvious that she wasn't a kid any longer. Her face, once round and childlike, was now more defined the baby fat mostly gone. Her blue hair was lying flat on her head a white head band restraining some of the more vicious strands but she had kept it as short as always. A short white dress gently clung to her now womanly body, matching the surrounding walls. He was now sure that he was in the Ark. In his Ark. He shook his head at that thought, wincing a little at the motion since his neck and back felt extremely sore. It wasn't his and it never would be.

Again he concentrated on the actual happenings. If he was in the old Ark, then why was Road here? As though she had read his thoughts she turned around to face him leaning against the small nightstand. Timcanpy took off from her shoulder and nestled himself next to Allen in the sheets. Allen gave him an aggravated look but the golden golem responded to it by watching his face closely. Allen could tell that the golem wanted to make him understand that the situation wasn't the one he expected.

"You must be asking yourself why I'm here or why I didn't finish you off for that matter.", her expression told him she already had guessed. He barely nodded. "To be honest I am not all that sure myself…", she replied with the face of a lost child and Allen felt a twinge of pity for her but it faded soon, "But probably because I want it all to stop and I'm convinced that only you and Neah can do it." At the mention of the 14th Allen went rigid, eyes widened. The experience of his latest encounter with his foster father's brother still shook him. Road apparently regretted that she picked up that subject but did not stop: "Don't worry. As long as you have that eye he won't be able to truly take you over. Your father made sure of that."

He didn't know why but hearing her talk about Mana like that was making him sad and angry at the same time. He was unsure about as what to think. He tried hard to push that thought into a far corner of his mind for the time being. "What do you mean by you want it all to stop?", he cringed inwardly as he heard his voice. It was raspy and sounded unused.

Road's impression was unreadable and for a moment he thought that it maybe hadn't been such a good idea to ask. But instead of something terrible happening she just turned towards a window and looked out of it, eyes carrying an expression of absence. "The Early doesn't wish to only wipe out mankind but the whole earth as well. He hates it with every fiber of his being.", her voice was hollow and as she went on Allen was not certain if he really wanted to know the rest of it, "It's become so obvious and yet no one from us Noah saw it till now. Only Neah…", she sighed deeply, "He was the only one to notice. At first I didn't believe him. I didn't _want_ to believe him but as time passed I came to the conclusion that he had been right from the very beginning."

Allen tried to digest what he had just heard. So that was what Neah had been referring to… Road's voice once again filled the room and Allen snapped out of his pondering, finding himself unable not to listen: "I probably would never have cared but I fear that we Noah will not be spared from his wrath." Allen frowned at that. "So you're just doing it to safe your own life?", he asked in a deep near growling voice. She looked him straight in the eye and shook her head. "I don't know… But I think that I don't want my family to die."

Allen raised his eyebrows. He could have expected this and yet it surprised him. Road smiled and came closer to his bed, kneeling in front of his face again. Allen felt a strange knot in his chest as her words sunk in deeper. As different as they could be, it was a given that Road cared for her Clan just as much as he cared for his friends in the Order. It was probably the only thing they had in common and surely would be her only reason to leave her _family_ behind. A few moments passed in silence as Allen began caressing Tim's wings and Road just observed his motion.

Finally, when Allen couldn't stand the awkward situation anymore he blurted the question out: "Road, how come you look my age now?" She blinked a few times, looking puzzled before actually answering in a casual voice: "Oh, that. I believed it to be more convenient to change my appearance. After all they will be looking for a young girl and since no one expects me to give up on my old form…"

But he could see that it had been a rather hard choice for her, although he did not really understand why. Maybe he couldn't understand. They were different. He pushed back the covers of the bed and tried to stand up when Road tried to push him back. Alarmed he jumped back a little and the girl's hand hung the air before she let it slide back to her side with a chastened smile. "Of course I understand if you don't trust me yet, Allen."

He didn't reply since it wasn't a question but a mere fact. After all the times they had fought against each other it was hard to entrust your life to the enemy. This time he tried to get up once again but she stopped him in mid-motion, earning her an accusing look from the young boy but she didn't budge. "You should take it easy.", she said, face stubborn and with a childish undertone, "Taking care of your wounds was not easy and if you think that they are fully healed just because I did my best to make the worst ones heal, then you're more than just wrong."

Allen ignored it. Strange…minutes ago he gladly would have snuggled into the sheets just to sleep further and now as he was told to rest he had the feeling that there were many things he had to do. Things he could not leave unfinished. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed ignoring the stings from his back and his stomach. Slowly he raised himself from his sitting position. As soon as he was standing he understood what Road had meant- the wound from Mugen still hurt even if the skin looked like the one of an old scar. But it wasn't just the scar but as he already guessed his whole spine that protested against any kind of strain.

He wanted to try and walk around just to see how severe his condition was but a warm and soft hand caught his and he quickly turned his head towards Road. She was still kneeling on the same spot her face turned away from his. "Please.", her voice was very quiet and Allen had to concentrate on each word to understand, "Just for this once, please, trust me." Now she looked up and in her eyes clearly showed concern. Somehow Allen felt disarmed with that expression on her face but it scared him that it made him remember Lenalee. She also would tell him to take care of himself after receiving an injury. "I will not try to do anything funny. If I had wanted, I would have done it while you were recuperating.", she gave his had a gentle squeeze and somehow he told himself it was better to relent. It was absurd. He had slept for god knows how long and he still felt tired.

As he sighed, Road smiled while letting go of his hand. Reluctantly he lay down again. He was afraid that Road was just playing with him. He was afraid that he might be woken up by a candle piercing his left eye again. Road rose from the floor and headed for the nightstand when she noticed Allen's vigilant gaze. "I really won't do anything. But as I already said: I'm not expecting you to trust me yet. I'll just have to wait."

And just like that she left the room only Timcanpy and Allen remaining. Allen rolled onto his back staring at the ceiling. He didn't know what to do. On one side he was restless. He wanted to something after having done nothing but sleep. He felt that that was what he owed Kanda and Alma. But on the other hand he felt exhausted, as if he was recovering from a bad disease. He felt his eyelids drop slowly. Tim was also making himself comfortable next to his right ear, building himself a nest out of the white fabric. Allen couldn't suppress a smile as he was drifting off.

"Tim,", he asked drowsily having gotten the golems full attention, "will you keep watch?" The golden ball nodded and as soon as it did Allen let the dark warmth claim him once again. He would be able to do things soon enough. He just needed to recover first.

And who knew, maybe he would be wrong about Road just this once.


End file.
